Mental Health

A Really Dark Place


3 minutes - Article

Violence. Addiction. Healing. Hudson has been there.

Hudson grew up in a lot of chaos. At a young age, he was exposed to violence and addictions in his family and community.

“I've seen a lot. Drinking, fighting, as long as I can remember”, says Hudson, “Alcohol brings nothing but negativity. You get sad, you get depressed, you feel really down. You feel sick. It feels like you need it.”

Numbing the pain

Hudson says he felt like he had no choice but to follow the same path as those around him. He spent a lot of his youth, and money, on his addictions.

“That's where all my money would go, was just beer and marijuana. And, you know, that was numbing me. That was numbing my pain. And you can't keep numbing it you know? You gotta face it. And that’ll help you grow as a person. That's how you become an adult.”

Staring at the ceiling

One dark night, Hudson found himself in a hospital bed for alcohol poisoning. He wasn’t sure he was going to live.

“I was in a really dark place,” says Hudson, “I had to stop feeling sorry for myself. I had to stop dwelling on the past. On what happened to me. It’s that intergenerational trauma. Repeating what your parents or your grandparents have done. I'm scared. I'm scared. But I want a better future for myself, for my family.”

Time for change

Hudson left that hospital uncertain, but wanting change and to leave the addictions behind. He quit drinking, has been working and has plans to go college.

“One of my biggest support systems is my auntie,” smiles Hudson, “She's sober herself. And, you know, and that's been my biggest help. Because she's helped me with those steps along the way."

A sober life

Hudson says staying sober is difficult but he know that’s how he can keep learning about himself, his culture and participate in ceremony. Connecting to his culture has allowed him to work on himself and become the healthy person he wants to be.

“You can't keep dwelling on the past and being angry and, you know, and saying stuff like, “I should have done this, I should have done that.” You know, you got to move forward and do things for yourself to better yourself. And I think that's what being an adult is.”

(Image Credit: Fighting Chance BearPaw Media and Education)

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